I missed the shot I wanted when I took this last October but I was still pretty pleased with this one. :)

I’m so mad right now that I am literally sick to my stomach. My aunt called me earlier to talk to me about my Mom. Mom is having a rough time financially, she’s very ill, and has some other issues, all of which I’m well aware of. We help her as much as possible. So does her church, so does a few other people. My brother, who lives with mom, does not help out and so my mom is sitting up there with no food.  I can’t help her because we’re in Virginia. We had to call Marshall’s parents to see if they would take her some food tomorrow.

Apparently Mom told my aunt that no one cares, she doesn’t want to live anymore, etc. and so on. I don’t even feel like going into it all. I seriously feel like I’m about to throw up. I guess that she (Mom) hinted around that she has no where to live (she thinks her landlord is going to kick her out). I’m sorry, but she cannot live with us again. She just can’t. One reason is that I have no room for her to live with us anymore. Cain is coming home in the summer, Brooke lives at home now. There is NO room. Plus, last time she lived with us there were things going on that she didn’t tell us about until she had moved out. It just can’t happen. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, and I don’t know what to do because she IS my mom. I don’t know how to help her but I guess I will have to figure something out.

I’m not being mean towards my mother and I hope it doesn’t come across that way. Of course I love her very much. Of course I want wants best for her. OF COURSE I want her to have somewhere to live, and for her to have all the money and food she needs. People have to remember that we are supporting two college kids. We have our own bills.

I’m tired of feeling guilty over all of this. TIRED OF IT.

Posted in Me

4 thoughts on “SO MAD!

  1. Talk about being in a rough spot … does your state have helping programs like Wisconsin does?
    This would be a prime case for some sort of state aide to help your mom and get her care.
    Some things us kids cannot handle ourselves.
    I’m sorry you are going through this .. and I KNOW you are not a mean person!

  2. I love you babe but please stop feeling like you are not doing your mother right. You have done all you can do. Her problems are not yours and she appreciated nothing you have ever done for her. When helping someone else hurts you then it shouldn’t be done. She’s made it this far on having others feel sorry for her, let her use someone else this time. Easier said then done I know but you are a good person and if you don’t help her you will feel like a bad person. You are not. In recovery people are taught about enablers. By helping her you are an enabler. I think it’s time for her to sink or swim on her own. And if I ever meet this woman I’ll likely give her a large piece of my mind.

  3. dawnia is right. do NOT help her. sometimes you have to let go in order to help. remember that she is a grown up too and manages to manipulate everyone around her. perhaps your bro, although i am sure you do not think so, has the right idea. she needs to take care of herself.
    parents know how to pull our strings. after all, they are the ones who tied them there.
    with love to you,

  4. I agree with Dawnia too. I also do think there are some services in the area that would help her with housing and mental health issues. Have you ever thought of going to Al-Anon or getting a book on it or something. It is not for addicts, but for relatives of addicts…not necessarily just addicts though, alcoholics, abusive relationship etc…..

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